Catholic Definitions

By Jon Golding
One of the most consistent requests at Christ The King is for more adult education. Based on this I have decided to offer some frequently requested Catholic terms and their definitions.

Amen-The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Bulletin-Your receipt for attending Mass.

Choir-A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

Incense-Holy Smoke.

Jesuits-An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

Jonah-The original “Jaws” story.

Justice-When kids have kids of their own.

Pew-A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

Procession-the ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

Recessional-The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

Relics-People who have been going to Mass for so long they know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

Ten Commandments-The most important top ten list not given by David Letterman.

Ushers-The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

If you can relate to any of these definitions or can add any to my collection, please feel free to stop me after any Mass during the recessional.